If you're like me, then I feel sorry for you, poor bastard. Also, if you're like me, then you've been curious as to how Sophie Ellis-Bextor's surprisingly defining Make A Scene album fared in Russia — i.e. the only territory it's been released in so far.
Well, wonder no longer, chyldryn, because there it is at #22 on the Russian album chart, right underneath the latest releases from your favorites and mine, Михаил и Ирина Круг (#20) and Стас Михайлов (#21).
I really don't know how to gauge this because who the hell knows what level of visibility Lady Bex even has in the Russian Federation? (Her Russian fans, probably.)
Just clutch your thong straps and pray this placing isn't so scandalous that Universal gets cold feet about the upcoming June 6 release of Make A Scene in the UK.
So we have a new #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week in the form of "Just The Way You Are," the first official single by Bruno Mars. Of course, Bruno's celebrating will be dampened by the fact that he got busted for carrying cocaine around last weekend in Las Vegas. (Did he learn nothing from wise sage/music legend Paris Hilton?)
And then at #10 we have the sizzurp-slurping Far*East Movement, whose "Like A G6" makes me feel like drowning myself in a tub full of grain alcohol. Hey, kids—getting fucked up is fun! And so is getting arrested! Paaaaaaaarty!
Moving on to classier trash, two singles jump 72 positions this week—Rihanna's "Only Girl (In The World)" (up from #75 to #3) and Florence + The Machine's "Dog Days Are Over" (#93 to #21). RiRi's jam benefits from being added to iTunes last week, while Flo performed on the MTV VMAs two Sundays ago.
FATM's LP Lungs also makes an impressive leap, from #44 to #14, on the Top 200 album chart. Not faring as well is Robyn's Body Talk Pt. 2, which drops from last week's debut position of #41 to #200. Ouch. At least Brandon Flowers managed a #8 debut with solo album Flamingo. (Two weeks ago he landed the album at #1 in the UK.)
And in slightly Sophie Ellis-Bextor-related news, Armin Van Buuren's Mirage, which contains their collaboration "Not Giving Up On Love," debuts at #148. I'm playing their jam this very moment in celebration of this momentous triumph.
The U.S. Top 10:
1. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars" *1 week* 2. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna 3. "Only Girl (In The World)" - Rihanna 4. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry 5. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull 6. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz 7. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull 8. "Just A Dream" - Nelly 9. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta 10. "Like A G6" - Far*East Movement
I don't care if Sophie Ellis-Bextor's last three singles have flopped harder than Madonna's 700-year-old tits after being chewed on by half of Los Angeles, all of Manhattan and at least 12 people in Londre—I still love this broad, and her new jam with Armin Van Buuren is already a #1 smash in my mind!
"Not Giving Up On Love" is the latest single to be lifted of Bex's yet-to-be-released fourth album Straight To The Heart (supposedly out in October). It'll also appear on Van Buuren's Mirage (out next month).
Heavenly. And am I the only one who thinks those lines about life not always being on your side and stuff weighing heavy on your mind can sort of mirror Sophie's own thoughts about her chart success?
