Jennifer Lopez's "I'm Into You" Video Is Putting Me To Sleep

The premiere of Jennifer Lopez's "I'm Into You" video went down on the Today Show this morning, and now that we're all privy to the full clip, it feels like a total non-event.

Yes, J.Lo is beautiful. Yes, the visuals are beautiful. Yes, my cat is beautiful. Yes, I'm going to take a nap now.



P.S. Where the hell is Lil Wayne? He shot scenes for this snoozefest, no?

Jennifer Lopez's "I'm Into You" Video Preview: Why Doesn't This Song Suck More?

I think that even if some itchy-fingered fucker put a Luger up to my temple I probably wouldn't admit to having a slight like for Jennifer Lopez's new single "I'm Into You." But at any rate, below is 18 seconds of the song's upcoming music video (full thing out May 2).

It features Cuban actor William Levy, who's thankfully got less clothes on than J.Lo.



See what I mean? Not bad. Shhhh.

U.K. Singles Chart: Jennifer Lopez's See-Through Thong

The UK Top 10:

1. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull *2 weeks*
2. "Party Rock Anthem" - LMFAO
3. "Someone Like You" - Adele
4. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
5. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West
6. "Buzzin'" - Mann feat. 50 Cent
7. "Don't Hold Your Breath" - Nicole Scherzinger
8. "Black And Yellow" - Wiz Khalifa
9. "Sweat" - Snoop Dogg
10. "Price Tag" - Jessie J feat. B.o.B

U.K. Singles Chart: Britney Spears Tanks With 'Femme Fatale'

Let's forget the fact the Jennifer Lopez's "On The Floor" has debuted at #1 in the UK, thus giving the American Idol judge her first chart-topper across the pond in six years—because Britney Spears' Femme Fatale has completely flopped in its first week on the chart in Old Blighty.

Wigney's seventh studio album bombed its way in #8 in the UK. Even Christina Aguilera's massive flopzilla of an album Bionic debuted at #1 there last year. And it's really not that surprising, given that Femme Fatale's lead singles "Hold It Against Me" and "Till The World Ends" charted at a disappointing #6 and #21, respectively.

Meanwhile, Adele has racked up a 10th week at the top of the chart in her home country with 21, giving her the longest stretch at #1 in the UK since Dire Straits achieved the same feat in 1986 with Brothers In Arms.

Oh, well. At least Britney can be happy that her album is #1 in Australia—a first for her.

The UK Top 10:

1. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull *new* *1 week*
2. "Someone Like You" - Adele
3. "Party Rock Anthem" - LMFAO
4. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
5. "Don't Hold Your Breath" - Nicole Scherzinger
6. "Black And Yellow" - Wiz Khalifa
7. "Price Tag" - Jessie J feat. B.o.B
8. "Broken Record" - Katy B *new*
9. "S&M (Come On)" - Rihanna
10. "I Need A Doctor" - Dr. Dre feat. Eminem & Skylar Grey

Jennifer Lopez's New Single "I'm Into You" Doesn't Exactly Suck, Either

First Jennifer Lopez's surprise comeback hit "On The Floor" didn't suck (though, don't get me started on the video). And then that "Invading My Mind" song Lady Gaga and RedOne generously worked on together for the American Idol judge showed even more promise with regards to J.Lo's upcoming Love? album.

And now we have "I'm Into You," which, despite the lyrically uninspired rap from Lil Wayne, somehow doesn't exactly make me want to force a rusty railroad tie into the front of my skull either.

Below is the official 30-second tease of the song. I'd post the full thing, but it's been getting yanked down left and right all day.



"I'm Into You" will be tossed onto iTunes next week (April 5). A press release issued today notes that Love? (out May 3) features production work by RedOne, Stargate, Tricky Stewart, The-Dream, Danja, D-Mile and Radio.

In addition to "Invading My Mind, Lady Gaga co-wrote the song "Hypnotico" for the album.

Listen To "Invading My Mind," Jennifer Lopez's Collab With RedOne And Lady Gaga

I have to admit, now that J.Lo has been washed up for about the past seven years, I'm actually liking her a lot better. She's a surprisingly able and tolerable judge on American Idol, her vapid dance hit "On The Floor" isn't as mind-numbingly annoying as some of her past hits and "Invading My Mind," her new collaboration with Lady Gaga and RedOne, is kind of a jam.

Who knew Her Thin-Voiceness could turn out something this semi-hot? This is apparently one of two songs Gaga and RedOne worked on together for Lopez's upcoming album Love?

It's Jennifer Lopez's "On The Floor" Video

What more can I add to the Jennifer Lopez "On The Floor" dialogue than was already said yesterday, when I recounted the epic myth of her evil menace? Not much. So just sit there and suffer through her insanely boring video for the song—which has now jumped to #2 on iTunes.

U.S. Chart Roundup: The Epic Story Of Why There Is An Evil Force Called Jennifer Lopez

Pop Kyds, there once was a dark and loathsome time, many, many moons ago, when Jennifer Lopez employed her tenuous voice to chirp out flimsy tunes that would fly to the upper reaches of the chart—garbage like "Jenny From The Block," "Love Don't Cost A Thing" and "I'm Real." On occasion some rent-a-rapper was Scotch-taped onto the trash to make J.Lo's treacle more attractive to the chyldryn.

But in the year of our Pop Lord 2000 and 5, a giant flapping bird named Mimi and a horrendous vulture called Madge—both of whom had been exiled to the Island Of Flop Divas for a spell—returned home. Mimi tended to her nest, bumping all the other whores who dared sit in it while she was gone over the edge, to plummet to their death. Madge picked at their flesh with her evil beak, desperately searching for any usable scraps with which she could fashion something fancy for herself.

And this is what happened to J.Lo...

Fat Butt and Pancake Head
Tags: SOUTH
PARKmore...

While she floundered in Hell, she occasionally dragged others' careers into the gutter with her—Jane Fonda here, Marc Anthony there. As for Matthew McConaughey, well, he was already in Hell, chyldryn.

But something happened—some calamitous collision of forces and alignment of dark stars—and The Lopez was ironically granted a position by which she could now judge the talent of others on a television show called Republican Network Singing Kids You Vote For To Make The Bland Shit You Are Too Cheap To Buy Anyway.

Eventually, Lady Gaga dispatched her most powerful warrior RedOne to breathe new life into The Lopez, so that she could have someone awful to stand next to on the Planet Of Pop, someone to make Gaga herself look better by comparison.

And that, Chyldryn, is how "On The Floor" debuted at #9 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week, and became her first Top 10 hit in eight years. Resist, if you must. But Fate is undeniable.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Born This Way" - Lady Gaga *3 weeks*
2. "Fuck You" - Cee Lo Green
3. "Grenade" - Bruno Mars 
4. "Fuckin' Perfect" - Pink
5. "S&M" - Rihanna
6. "Firework" - Katy Perry
7. "Tonight (I'm Fuckin' You)" - Enrique Iglesias ft. Ludacris & DJ Frank E
8. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West
9. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull *new*
10. "I Need A Doctor" - Dr. Dre feat. Eminem & Skylar Grey

2011 Golden Globes Jewelry Winners

Leading ladies in Hollywood gleamed yesterday at the 2011 Golden Globe Awards. Understated elegance was the jewelry theme of the evening. Diamond and platinum web-like mesh necklace designs seemed to be all the rage, particularly among some of the younger starlets. Here’s our list of 2011 Golden Globe Jewelry winners below:

 

2011 Golden Globes Jewelry Winners

29-year-old Black Swan actress Natalie Portman radiated throughout the evening while showing off her baby bump. She accessorized her pale pink Viktor & Rolf gown with a gorgeous diamond and platinum mesh necklace.

 

Eva Longoria added shimmer to her flowing black Zac Posen gown with 2 diamond and platinum brooch pins.

 

Glee star Diana Agron sparkled in a diamond and platinum mesh necklace.

 

20-year old Modern Family star Sarah Hyland accented her vintage champagne Max Azria gown with a stunning 50 carat diamond and pearl mesh necklace worth $600,000.

 

Jennifer Lopez looked simply angelic draped in a Zuhair Murad floor length-gown. Her sleek pony tail revealed a set of glittering floral motiff diamond earrings worth $3 million.

 

Halley Berry broke the mold with 5 diamond and platinum bangle cuffs and a pair of 3 carat diamond studs. While looking gorgeous as ever, her choice of wardrobe was rather questionable.

 

Jessalyn Gilsig paired her eggplant jacquard David Meister gown with teardrop earrings adorned with diamonds and pink, yellow and blue sapphires. Her 282 carat pink sapphire bangle bracelet set in white and rose gold helped complete an unforgettable look.

2011 Golden Globes Jewelry Winners

Leading ladies in Hollywood gleamed yesterday at the 2011 Golden Globe Awards. Understated elegance was the jewelry theme of the evening. Diamond and platinum web-like mesh necklace designs seemed to be all the rage, particularly among some of the younger starlets. Here’s our list of 2011 Golden Globe Jewelry winners below:

 

2011 Golden Globes Jewelry Winners

29-year-old Black Swan actress Natalie Portman radiated throughout the evening while showing off her baby bump. She accessorized her pale pink Viktor & Rolf gown with a gorgeous diamond and platinum mesh necklace.

 

Eva Longoria added shimmer to her flowing black Zac Posen gown with 2 diamond and platinum brooch pins.

 

Glee star Diana Agron sparkled in a diamond and platinum mesh necklace.

 

20-year old Modern Family star Sarah Hyland accented her vintage champagne Max Azria gown with a stunning 50 carat diamond and pearl mesh necklace worth $600,000.

 

Jennifer Lopez looked simply angelic draped in a Zuhair Murad floor length-gown. Her sleek pony tail revealed a set of glittering floral motiff diamond earrings worth $3 million.

 

Halley Berry broke the mold with 5 diamond and platinum bangle cuffs and a pair of 3 carat diamond studs. While looking gorgeous as ever, her choice of wardrobe was rather questionable.

 

Jessalyn Gilsig paired her eggplant jacquard David Meister gown with teardrop earrings adorned with diamonds and pink, yellow and blue sapphires. Her 282 carat pink sapphire bangle bracelet set in white and rose gold helped complete an unforgettable look.

Jennifer Lopez's "On The Floor" Doesn't Quite Suck

Even though the song leaked over the weekend, the official "world premiere" of Jennifer Lopez's new song "On The Floor" happened this morning on Ryan Seacrest's website. Consider it a multi-platform promotional tactic—J.Lo is a new judge on American Idol, Ryan is the host of American Idol, Ryan has a website, J.Lo has big boobs etc. etc.

Actually, this version of "On The Floor" is a minute shorter than the one that surfaced a few days back. And I'm not exactly disliking the RedOne-produced jam.



But you just have to wonder how much anyone would care if "On The Floor" didn't build its entire melody around that hook from Kaoma's "Lambada"?



Not that "the kids these days" even know what Kaoma's "Lambada" is. But take away that sample, and all you're left with is a pile of J.Lo's big boobs.

Jennifer Lopez

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Jennifer Lopez and the Twins


Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez Picture


Jennifer Lopez and the Twins


Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez Picture

Jennifer Lopez Hot Bikini

Jennifer Lopez Top Style

Jennifer Lopez Cool Picture

Jennifer Lopez Sweet Smile