Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" Is #1, And All Seems Annoyingly Right In The World

We knew this was kind of inevitable, right? Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" has ascended to the top of the Billboard Hot 100, becoming her second #1 single over the past few months and her third overall, after "I Kissed A Girl."

And you know what? That song should be #1. I mentioned elsewhere the other day that while Katy herself makes me want to throw myself off a bridge, "Teenage Dream" is an incredibly catchy song that deserves to be a smash.

"Teenage Dream" is now the eighth U.S. chart topper for Max Martin after the following:

1. "...Baby One More Time" - Britney Spears
2. "It's Gonna Be Me" - *NSYNC
3. "I Kissed A Girl" - Katy Perry
4. "So What" - Pink
5. "My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson
6. "3" - Britney Spears
7. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry

Hmmm. Come to think of it, why couldn't Dr. Luke and Max have given "Teenage Dream" to Kelly Clarkson? Oh well. Moving on, Nelly somehow manages to score his first Top 10 hit in half a decade with the not half bad "Just A Dream," which is at #9.



Further down, Cee Lo Green's upbeat Motown throwback "Fuck You" jumps up this week from #96 to #33, while Adam Lambert's "If I Had You" slips from #32 to #35.

But really, folks, all that matters is that Antoine Dodson has a third week on the chart with "Bed Intruder Song," which falls two spots to #94.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry *1 week*
2. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna
3. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
4. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars 
5. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
6. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
7. "Mine" - Tayler Swift
8. "Take It Off" - Ke$ha
9. "Just A Dream" - Nelly
10. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg

Another Chart Milestone For Ke$ha, Antoine Dodson And "Bed Intruder Song"

Ke$ha's "Take It Off," one of my fave jams off her trashy fun Animal, climbs to #10 of Billboard's Hot 100 this week, becoming her fourth straight Top 10 hit off the album. And it's clear now that the New Queen Of Soul truly has become the voice of this generation, her angelic pipes being undeniable to a nation that craves raw talent. Sorry Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey—Ke$ha is The Ultimate True Voice.

This marks five singles now in the Top 10 that either have a Dr. Luke or Max Martin credit (and in the case of "Teenage Dream," "Dynamite" and "California Gurls" it's both). Speaking of which, Adam Lambert's "If I Had You" holds steady at #32 for a second week.

But the ultimate triumph this week is the "Bed Intruder Song" by the Gregory Brothers, Antoine and Kelly Dodson. After initially debuting two weeks ago at #89, the viral Auto-Tuned masterpiece dropped off the chart last week. This week it re-enters at #92.

You know, come to think of it, maybe Antoine Dodson is actually the New Queen Of Soul?

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna *7 weeks*
2. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
3. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
4. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
5. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
6. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
7. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
8. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
9. "Mine" - Taylor Swift
10. "Take It Off" - Ke$ha

Rihanna Has Been #1 Forever, "Bed Intruder Song" Disappears & Nelly Didn't Cover Cathy Dennis

Folks, first up let's all bow our heads for a moment of silence, as "Bed Intruder Song" dropped out of the Billboard Hot 100 after a lone week on the chart. It was fun while it lasted, Antoine Dodson—hope you went out, rolled deep and had lots of classy sex.

On a far less glamorous note, Eminem and Rihanna's "Love The Way You Lie" has now been #1 for six weeks, giving Ri Ri a total of 11 weeks at the top of the Hot 100 this year if you include "Rude Boy." Meanwhile, it was announced this week that she has yet another single ("Only Girl"—out next month) and another album (her fifth) due for release by year's end.

B.o.B's third single "Magic" cracks the Top 10 this week and features Rivers Cuomo. It's the Weezer frontman's second Top 10 hit after his band's "Beverly Hills" climbed to #10 back in 2005.

Coming in just behind them at #12 is Nelly with "Just A Dream." Alas, pop chyldryn, this is sadly not a Cathy Dennis cover with a slightly shortened title.



"Just A Dream" is now the rapper's first Top 20 hit since that horrific trash "Grillz" somehow hit #1 five years ago. (Clink your glass with Rivers, Nelly.)

On a final note, Adam Lambert's "If I Had You" moves up to #32, thereby finally entering the Top 40.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna *6 weeks*
2. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
3. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
4. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
5. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
6. "Right Above It" - Lil Wayne feat. Drake *new*
7. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
8. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
9. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
10. "Magic" - B.o.B feat. Rivers Cuomo

Chart Triumph: "Bed Intruder Song" Debuts On The 'Billboard' Hot 100

The greatest chart achievement in the history of recorded music has occurred this week, and we're all alive to witness it! That's right—"Bed Intruder Song" (credited to Antoine Dodson & Gregory Brothers featuring Kelly Dodson) has cracked the Billboard Hot 100, entering at #89.



Please, God, let Antoine Dodson win at least six Grammys for this. And MTV, if you want to be real classy, get him to perform at the VMAs next month!

Meanwhile if you've never seen this gem before it was rendered into a smash hit remix via Auto Tune, here's the original news broadcast about the Huntsville rapist:



Miracles, chyldryn—THEY HAPPEN! Speaking of which, Ke$ha scores her fourth Top 20 hit off Animal as "Take It Off" climbs like a stripper chasing a two dollar bill up a pole to #20. (Or should I say climbs in your window, and snatches your people up?)

And speaking of strippers, Adam Lambert's "If I Had You" inches ever closer to the Top 40, this week settling for #42.

The U.S. Top 10:


1. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna *5 weeks*
2. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
3. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
4. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
5. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
6. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
7. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
8. "Mine" - Taylor Swift
9. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams
10. "Ridin' Solo" - Jason Derulo