Seriously, sometimes you just have to sit back and ask yourself, “why me.” I mean, honestly. I’m a decent person. I think. I hope.
Started coming down with the start of a sinus infection, so I stayed home from work today so I could go to the doctor.
Now, let’s throw this out there – I love my doctor, been seeing her since 2003. On Monday of this week, she left the office she’d been in for about five years for a new office space, affiliated with UK Healthcare. I’ve dealt with the new call center twice this week and I was not happy either time. So, I walked in and saw Susan, the receptionist and immediately said, “I don’t like the new call center,” and she laughed and said, “Nobody does.” Ha! At least it’s not just me.
Due to the new transition, they handed me a giant clipboard full of stuff to fill out. Information I know they’ve had for years, but because it was a new computer system, I had to fill out again. Alright. And I needed my insurance card and photo ID when I returned it.
I go sit down, and set my car keys, Vera Bradley wristlet and my Nook (in it’s very awesome Nook case featuring a picture of my very photogenic daughter) down on the chair next to me and start telling UK Healthcare my name, address, employer, mother’s maiden name, father’s name (what the hell do they need that info for, especially because he’s been dead for a year and a half!), and other information that, I guess, proves I am who I am. I lost my insurance card a couple months ago, so I asked Scott to take a pic of his and text it to me so they could get the information. (Gotta love technology.)
As soon as I’m done signing my name on the line almost as many times as I did in the refinance paperwork, I head up to the desk with my clipboard, license and phone so I can finish checking in. I leave my wristlet, keys and Nook sitting on the chair, as I’m only walking about 20 feet away and am in plain sight of it the whole time.
Well, while I’m in the process of waiting on the girls to get their acts together to take my stuff, I glance over my shoulder. The chair that held my stuff was surprisingly empty. I looked around me, did I carry it to the desk with me and forgot? No. I just, in passing say, “Hey, my wallet’s gone.” Of course, the girls at the desk freak out and start asking questions. I go back to where I was and look all around, nowhere to be found. I ask the older couple that was sitting there, “Wasn’t my stuff right there?” The older man says, “I saw someone who was sitting at the end pick some stuff up.” Nice.
Now I will give you the God’s honest truth, I didn’t pay attention to the person on my left while I was signing my life away to UK Healthcare. So I don’t remember a thing about her, except for the fact it was a female. I couldn’t even tell you if she was black or white.
Apparently the old man immediately pointed to an older black lady on the other side of the divider and said something about how it was her. I know she didn’t move the whole time I was there, and that old woman is going off showing the insides of her purse, cursing, showing off the insides of the purse of the girl with her, etc. I said, “I didn’t accuse anyone, I just noticed my stuff went missing.” She goes, “But he did.”
Well, at that point, my name was called to go back. The office manager says she’ll call the police. I almost looked at her and said, “You know, this really isn’t important enough to get them involved.” But I figured I’d be quiet and let them do their thing. One of the other girls at the desk told me that I was amazingly more calm than I should have been. Eh, what was I going to do?
Renee, my nurse, went to weigh me and I was like, “Do I have to?” She laughed and said, that no, after what just happened, she’d let me out of it. (I got on the scale at home this morning. It was not a nice number. I don’t want to share that number with anyone, especially my doctor.)
So, we go into the room, and she does my BP, which, understandably is high, and we ran through the usual “why are you here,” bit. Then I cracked up laughing and said, “You know what’s really funny? I hope to God the person who took my Nook was a flaming liberal because I had the George W. and Laura Bush books on there.” She found that funny. (As did my doctor when I told her.) Here’s what’s kind of funny, while Renee and I were in there, a lady was out walking in the back and actually waved at us from outside. Renee was kind of confused because she goes, “They aren’t supposed to be able to look in.” Yeah, well, it seemed a bit odd she was back there anyway, but, what are you going to do?
My doctor comes in, and first off offers me a Xanex, which I shrug off. Eh. Stuff happens. We get down to the reason I’m there, which she confirms my suspicions, sinus infection. Yay! As we get ready to leave, I realize my car keys are among the missing items (why it didn’t hit me before then, I do not know).
My doctor gives me a hug as we’re walking down the hall and, once again, offers me a Xanex. I turn her down. Again.
The office manager then takes me to the break room where I’m, essentially, held hostage for about 20 minutes before the cop comes back to talk to me. Why they wouldn’t let me out to make sure my car was still in the parking lot (as was my fear as soon as I realized my keys were MIA), or anything else, was frustrating. But I used that time to text my friends and fill them in on what was going on. And lamented with one of the employees about how “this is Georgetown, this kind of thing isn’t supposed to happen in Georgetown.”
So, the cop finally comes back and talks to me – there’s a few miscommunciations going on – he thought it was a purse, to tell him I had a Vera Bradley wristlet was sort of over his head. When I said I had a Nook, he was just like, “A what?” Once I likened it to a Kindle, he was like, “oh.” He even asked me what it was worth and I told him and he goes, “The same as a Kindle.” Well, yeah. The biggest thing to me about the Nook was the fact I just got a new Nook case, and as such, had a picture of it on my phone, so I could at least show him that.
So, we go out and he wants me to show him where it happened, which I did, and then we went in the back again. This is when he tells me that he’s pretty sure he knows who did it, but he had nothing on her to prove it. He did stop and question her, and searched her car, but couldn’t find anything and she said she had to leave to go get her kid. He said she swore she’d be back. (Guess what, we left two hours later and she hadn’t returned yet. Weird, huh? Yeah, didn’t think so.) He believed her because her grandma was still at the office and she was grandma’s ride. (Side note, Grandma was the older lady who cursed and swore she had nothing to do with it.)
The cop walked me around the building and told me how someone said they saw this woman and her son digging, and burying stuff, in the new landscaping. But he took his baton and sifted through the mulch and came up with nothing. Then we walked a little further and said someone else said they saw this woman with a handful of credit cards – a green one on top – trying to stuff them between the sidewalk and the dirt of the yard. (I laughed and said, “yep, definitely mine, I just put the green card in my wallet this morning .” I just got it. It’s a Maurice’s store credit card.) Then he walked over to the drainage pipe and said they’ve been looking around in it, but it was full of water and had two paths off of it, so if they threw something in there, he didn’t know where it could have gone. There was a horse in a field next to the office and I said, “Hey, the horse saw it, someone go ask him!” The cop laughed and goes, “Yeah, Mr. Ed.”
So, he and I walked around told me that yet ANOTHER witness saw her digging around in the rocks. I looked at him and said, “Well, we saw her outside the window while I was back to see the doctor and she waved at us.” He goes, “Weird.” Of course she waved. The only other thing she could have done that was more appropriate was flick me off.
So, we saw another drainage pipe, but there was nothing down there. There was a third one, and he shines his flashlight and goes, “Hey, do you know what that is?” Down at the bottom of the drainage pipe was my Nook case. Face down, but I knew it was my Nook case. It was a little too deep for him to get to the bottom, but luckily there were builders working on a building next door who helped us fish it out. (No, they didn’t see anything, so they were no real help as far as that’s concerned.) They fished it out, and my beautiful Nook case, featuring my gorgeous daughter, is now covered in mud, is wet, and is (unsurprisingly) empty. My wristlet was down there – also empty. Car keys still missing. Of course.
Two office workers, the cop, and I traipse around the field behind the office looking for the keys, thinking they could have been tossed out there, but the fact is, if they were, there wasn’t a shot in hell we’d find them. (Which, let’s throw this one out there – it would have been really easy to find my car. Hit the panic button and see which one went off. But she apparently didn’t do that, because everything in my car was untouched. And she best be grateful cause if she stole – or messed with my car in any way – I would be ready to kill.)
So, after all that, and after I talk to Scott and he’s on his way to come get me (because, after all, I can’t take my car anywhere without keys – but he’s got a spare key, so it’s not like we couldn’t get the car home – so nah, nah on that bitch who thought she might be able to steal my car later). I head back into the office to give them the insurance card that finally came through e-mail, and ask if the doctor would be willing to give me something for my migraine. Walk in with a sinus infection, walk out with a migraine. Woohoo! (They did end up giving me a shot of Torodol, God love them.)
Afterwards, the police officer informs me he does know who did it, he’s got enough on her, and knows she’s on probation. He said that, if the items are not returned to him by 8 a.m. tomorrow, he’s got enough for a warrant, if nothing else, but he assured me she would be going to jail. Woohoo.
He even told Scott while I was in the back getting my shot that I was a lot calmer than most. Scott told him it wasn’t that, but that I internalize stuff. Yeah, I do. But honestly, what good would it have done me to start pointing fingers and flip out? It’s just stuff. In reality, I’ll get a new Nook – I’ve cancelled all the credit/debit cards that were in my wallet – the only thing I’m even remotely pissed about at this point is a) my beautiful Nook case is now tainted and b) I WANT MY CAR KEYS! I just got the remote working a week and a half ago, dammit!
So, now I just sit back to wait to hear from the cop tomorrow.
It is important to note, when we left, the grandma did come up and apologize profusely to me. I said, “This stuff happens.” She goes, “No, not with her.” Um, apparently, yes, with her. I really didn’t know what to say. I mean, what did she want from me? She didn’t take it, she didn’t owe me an apology. Her grandkid’s a fuck-up, not really her fault. The police are involved, and therefore, it’s beyond my control. Did she want me to take pity and say I wasn’t going to let him take her granddaughter in? Not gonna happen. Enjoy the cell, babe. I’ll wave at you from outside.
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