Did you lose your house in the tornado? No problem, come join our drum circle. WTF?

Music Therapy Offered To Tornado Survivors

Today makes two weeks since many lives were turned upside down after April's tornadoes.
I thought it was April showers bring may flowers, not April tornados bring May psychos. But, you know whatever.

One business has come up with a way for those affected to relieve stress and begin to heal from dealing with so much devastation. Music therapy is the idea.
Wait, wait, wait … read what I read: “One business has come up with a way to drive more people into its store under the ruse of relieving stress and healing from so much devastation.”

Because the fact of the matter is this: whereas it’s a free service, and I’m sure people are enjoying it, it also drives more traffic into the store – and it generates publicity – both of which will pad the owner’s pockets.

The folks at Bailey Brothers Music Company are inviting tornado survivors to take part in a weekly drum circle.
Wait, a weekly drum circle. Is that like a circle jerk?

It allows survivors to clear their minds and hearts and let the beat of the rhythm take control.
Yeah, and so does Zumba. And sex. And running. And a bunch of other things.

A drum circle involves folks getting together and making music with drums and other percussion instruments.
Wait, wait, wait, you mean to tell me a drum circle involves people getting together and (wait for it), playing drums???? O.M.G.

You don't need to have any type of background in music. You just follow the directions of the person leading the drum circle which allows the group to create different types of beats.
However, you must have a sense of rhythm, which means cracker-white girls like myself are ousted at the door.

It involves some concentration because participants have to follow the hand movements of the leader.
Reference my earlier “circle jerk” comment and understand why I’m cracking up right now – so much so I can’t even insert a pithy comment.

It's enjoyable and the leader of Tuesday night's drum circle Pastor Fredrick Harris says the rhythm of the music gives a soothing affect and takes away a lot of stress.
Yeah, well, so does Xanex - or liquor - or both. It’s whatever.

Fredrick Harris said, "It paints a picture for you in your mind, just a getaway. There are times I've been playing and you're closing your eyes, just out there. It's fun and it gets them away from their troubles and problems just for a moment."
Yes, and then these people stand up all euphoric from your little drum circle jerk thingy, walk outside, look around and say, “Fuck, I don’t have a house to go home to. Dammit all to hell.”

It really is meant to be therapeutic at a time when many storm victims may be experiencing depression and grief.
Because apparently storm victims are the only people who can experience depression and grief. Do they stop you at the door?

Are you experiencing depression and grief?
No.
NEXT! Are you experiencing depression and grief?
Yes.
Why?
My dog just died.
NEXT! Are you experiencing depression and grief?
Yes.
Why?
I lost everything in the tornado and need to hang out in the A/C for an hour.
Come on in, pick a drum and sit down.

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In all seriousness, before someone accuses me of being an “insenstitive piece of crap” again, it’s got to be insanely hard to lose everything like that. I’m not making light of that. I’m making light of the drum circle, not the situation itself.

And it’s nowhere near as funny when you have to explain it …