The voices in my head

How disturbing is that????

If you have ever dieted, you know exactly where I’m coming from here. There are two people in your head, duking it out for dominance.

Maybe not so soon ... but coming. Again. It'll be like
the fifth anniversary re-release!

The fat you who lives for indulgence

The skinny you longing to get out

Sometimes the battles that go on are quite humorous. Enter yesterday…

I had a GREAT day eating. I mean, fantastic. I even went out and walked at lunch. Woohoo me. I finished all 64 ounces of water before I left work. Winning!

Then I got home and my stomach was rumbling, like, a magnitude 7.4 earthquake going on in there. I was HUNGRY.

I grabbed a handful of jelly beans when I took some painkillers (allergy headaches), but I know Jelly Bellys are only four calories apiece, so I figured I only had about 100 calories, so I hadn’t hurt myself too badly.

I started dinner, gourmet though it was – turkey hot dogs and multi-grain buns. Woohoo. But was still hungry. I had a snack-sized bag of Cheez-Its that I decided to down. Why not? How much could it hurt?

Then I decided it would be fun to make macaroni and cheese with hot dogs. After all, what goes better with hot dogs? And besides, it’s organic. Organic means it HAS to be good for you, right??? (LOL)

After my two turkey dogs, and little bit of macaroni, the guilt was consuming me. Here comes the fat person: “God you suck. I don’t know why you even try. You might as well just go get a Blizzard, you blew your day. Enjoy the rest of it.”

Skinny person jumps up and punches fat me in the face. “Oh, hush, even with the snacking, you didn’t go over 2000 calories. Not the best day, but way better than when you’re not watching what you’re eating.”

We went out to Kohl’s on the search for shoes (that was fruitless – I found cute shoes, but not the cute shoes I specifically went to Kohl’s for), and I was very thirsty. So I went to Starbucks. Fat me wanted a Passion Tea Lemonade. Skinny me told her to hush it and ordered a black tea with Sweet N Low. Woot!

We drive right on by the Dairy Queen on the way home. I don’t even suggest stopping for ice cream. (Skinny me is kicking ass and taking names.)

Okay, don’t get too excited.

It took about two hours to get Munchkin to sleep (argh!) and then I goofed around on Facebook and then, come 11:30, we decided to watch the putrid movie Netflix sent that was “The Tooth Fairy.” (I put it in the queue as a joke, because Scott likes “The Rock,” but I have to admit, even though I actually liked “The Game Plan,” this one was horrible.) As soon as the movie started, I knew I was hungry. Skinny me tried to shut the hungries up. Unfortunately that didn’t last the whole movie.

I went to go get some Goldfish. I love the fishes cause they’re so delicious. This is where skinny me had a big fat fail.

Did I measure out a single serving of Goldfish? Of course not.

Did I put the Goldfish in a separate container instead of eating out of the bag? Of course not.

I proceeded to stuff my face with Goldfish until I looked down, and at least (if not more than) half the bag was gone. (Goldfish in my house always equals a big fat fail for me. But I have a toddler, so they are always in my house. Losing.)

Skinny me is cowering in the corner from where fat me kicked her ass (probably with a Goldfish). Fat me is happy and content “You’ll never see skinny again, you are so worthless.  I don’t know why you try. Just eat what you enjoy and be happy with me.”

I go to bed.

I wake up this morning and have this feeling of, “Well, I blew yesterday, I might as well just eat whatever the hell I want to. But no, before I can even think, I ask Scott to make up one of my breakfast Smart Ones in the freezer. Woot.

Then, fat me tells me to get on the scale to see the damage I did yesterday. But I refuse. “No, I only get on the scale on Fat-Ass Fridays from now on.”

Look at that, Skinny me came out fighting this morning. You go girl.