Review: The Tooth Fairy

Yeah, I liked this movie the first time I saw it, when it was “The Santa Clause.”

You know what, I even liked it the second time I saw it, when it was “The Game Plan.”

The third time is not the charm.

Actually, this movie is like the weird love child of “The Santa Clause” and “The Game Plan.” Only this time The Rock is a hockey player instead of a football player, and he learns his lesson because of being sentenced to being a tooth fairy instead of a dad.

Now, there were two redeeming qualities in this movie. One being Julie Andrews. I don’t think I could possibly detest a movie with Julie Andrews in it. Granted her character was essentially the queen from “The Princess Diaries” movies, I loved those movies, so rock on with your royal-ass self, Julie.  Two was Billy Crystal’s character making “The Princess Bride” references. Always a win in my book.

Ashley Judd is a fail no matter how you cut it. She can’t act her way out of a paper bag, so I guess that’s why the character they gave her was so flat and lifeless. “Here, Ashley, we know you need work, so this shouldn’t strain you too much.”

Dwayne Johnson was Dwayne Johnson. I mean, how much range can a former wrestler actually have? Though, I have to admit, seeing him a tutu was pretty much worth it. I want to see him walk out in the wrestling ring in that, though. But, now that he’s sold his soul to Disney, not only is his wrestling career over, but his acting career is basically crap movies now.

“Hey, we need a big guy to play the sports-star-turned-puddle-of-goo, any ideas?”

“Dwayne Johnson, duh.”

The whiny-ass Brit who plays his case worker irritated me. So much so I won’t even go look up who he was. He sounded a bit like the guy on Bones, but it couldn’t have been him, could it? No. I refuse to admit anyone associated with a show that cool was affiliated with a movie this bad. (Side note: Julie Andrews has a lifetime pass – she can play anything she damn well pleases.)

Were there a couple of redeeming qualities here and there throughout this movie? Yes. But were there enough for me to actually recommend wasting 90 minutes of your life and a Netflix queue slot? Not a chance.

P.S. Before you ask why the hell I even put this in my Netflix queue … Scott used to watch wrestling, and does still from time to time, so he’s a fan of “The Rock.” So, whenever there’s a Rock movie out, he usually sees it, if nothing else, to make fun of it. Which, we got plenty of that out during this movie.