Archives: Just a few more reasons to hate Indiana

~~ Originally posted as a Facebook Note on August 31, 2009 ~~

Believe it or not, I own this book. And the Duke
version too, but that's another issue.

Alright, as if the "Country Gospel Music Church" and 45-mph road construction zones every five miles with no actual construction going on weren't bad enough, here are a few other things seen while in Indiana that made me question its worth. :)

1. Marion featured a billboard advertising their historic getaways. "Voted #4 by Midwestern Living"
Alas, someone needs to tell Marion that fourth place is the third loser, and is nothing to brag about. If you don't get to stand on a podium holding roses and tears streaming down your face, you don't get to brag. Let it go. You got nothing Marion, IN.

2. "The Last Resort" RV campground
Seriously, if you ever catch me camping ... and camping in Indiana at that ... you know it's a total last resort. Talk about mastery of the obvious.

3. "Westward 'Ho' Campground"
I'm still trying to figure out why the 'Ho' is in quotes. (Yes, the single quotes are what was on the sign.)

4. "Like ice cream? Try ours. Open Sat-Sun."
Well, I guess in Gnaw Bone, IN you're not allowed to like ice cream Monday through Friday.

5. "Brown County - Home of over 200 unique stores."
I couldn't get a cell phone signal the entire time I was in Brown County. Ergo, when I plan a shopping trip, Brown County, IN isn't going to be remotely close to on the list. If there's no cell signal, it's not a good sign. I'm sure if I actually got out of the car, I might have heard dueling banjos.

6. "Sleepy Arms Hot Tub Suites and Wedding Chapel"
Seriously? Who the hell decides to run away and get married in podunk Indiana? Is there really a market for that?

7. Right across the street from the "Sleepy Arms Hot Tub Suites and Wedding Chapel" was a hotel advertising "overnight rooms."
Is there a need to advertise that you have overnight rooms? Do people really drive by this place and think, "man I need to take a rest for an hour ... oh wait, guess I can't, I can only stay overnight." I mean, I know it's a few miles down the road from the Westward 'Ho' Campground, but really????

Then again, it is Indiana ... what do you expect?