Taylor Swift Is Probably Having Sex With Her Grammys Because "Mine" Debuted At #3

Yes, children of America, YES! Download Taylor Swift's new single "Mine" that sounds like every other Taylor Swift single ever released, and then download it AGAIN (because that way you can pretend it's her NEXT single, which will undoubtedly sound like this and the previous ones anyway)! She deserves it! You deserve it! Shove your dollar twenty-nine in the G-string that is Taylor's bank account so she can ride her Grammys three at a time in appreciation!

So anyway, Taylor's "Mine" debuts at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week, and has achieved something ridiculous like the eighth highest opening for a digital single, saleswise (with 297,000 paid downloads) in just four days (it went on sale last Thursday).

A sigle that deserves to do better than "Mine" is "Take It Off" by the New Queen Of Soul Ke$ha. The music video alone would make Cecil B. Demille and Alfred Hitchcock weep. In fact, I think I hear Hitchcock hurling up a vomit geyser of failure in his coffin in the wake of the "Take It Off" video right now! (Think of The Birds, Hitch.) At any rate, the song jumps from #52 to #27, becoming her fourth Top 40 hit off Animal.

This brings us to The Script and their UK hit "The Man Who Can't Be Moved," which was released in July 2008 and peaked at #2 across the pond. Over here the song has been kicking around for about a year and finally cracks the Hot 100 at #96. And, who knows—maybe, just maybe, it'll soar to the upper reaches of the chart, giving them a second American smash, and the Irish trio will at least avoid becoming the next BBMak.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna *4 weeks*
2. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
3. "Mine" - Taylor Swift *new*
4. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
5. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
6. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams
7. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
8. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
9. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
10. "Ridin' Solo" - Jason Derulo