Empty your mind ...

I had a friend once write a blog about how whenever he tried to pray, his mind was all over the place. He'd be thanking God for this, or asking God for that and the next second he'd have AC/DC lyrics running through his head.

I have to admit, I was quite relieved to read that. Because it happens to me too. ALL THE TIME. I'll start out a small prayer before bed, my mind will wander, and 15 minutes later I'll remember I never said "Amen." Oops.

It brings me to my point - have you ever tried to empty your mind completely? It's damn near impossible. Scott can do it, and that's why he can fall asleep at the drop of hat. Me, well, my mind wanders too much for that.

Here's a typical night for me:
Good night from Scott
Turn on my fan, and say a small prayer
Partly into my prayer, remember something from work
Then remember there's a new book coming out I want to read
Wonder if it's worth it to pay for said book
Oh, is there any music I need to scour the internet for?
Did I shut the garage door?
Where's the dog?
Oh, you know, what would life be like if Keith Urban wasn't married to Nicole Kidman?
What's on the to-do list for tomorrow?
Amen.

Yeah, it's impossible for me to clear my mind. Impossible for me to stop thinking. Even if what I'm thinking about makes no sense whatsoever. (Sometimes it's more fun to think about the things that make no sense.)

Therefore, it should come as no surprise that meditation is not exactly my strength in life. Sitting in the lotus position (ha!), breathing calmly, emptying my mind - nope, not easy. It should be easy. But it's not easy.

It's not that I'm ADD - oh, look, a chicken - but just that my mind goes a million miles a minute. It always has. I have an active imagination. Blessing and a curse, really. I just wish I could use my powers for good instead of evil.

You know what's even worse than an active imagination? I have a crazy memory. I can remember things from 20 years ago and flashback. (Yes, I know 20 years ago I was still in elementary school. Doesn't mean I can't remember details about it. Not that I want to, mind you, but I can, and I have.)

Sigh.